How Lucky We Are

[bam bam]

There's nothing like being away for over a week that makes you appreciate New Orleans more. It is inconceivable how well we eat and generally how good our cuisine is, which makes the oil spill such an incomprehensible tragedy.

Anyway, I had to abandon JAG in Chicago on Monday and fly home to Pennsylvania due to a family situation. The only decent meals that I have had so far are the ones that I cooked.

Last night was my parents' wedding anniversary. So there's a restaurant my parents like, and the chef worked at Commander's Palace which I guess they thought gave it some street cred. Awful doesn't even begin to describe the entire situation. $30 entrees and a great view of the Delaware River do not a great restuarant make.

Before we get to the food, the service was disgraceful. It was evident that none of the waitstaff had ever worked at a Brennan establishment. We had ordered a bottle of white wine and I poured the wine from the ice bucket after waiting an interminable amount of time and came to the conclusion that wait staff was clueless as to wine service. The food was served to our table of five in a slip shot manner. Despite the presence of two ladies at the table, I was served my food first. The waitress was good at pushing desserts and port on us which I am sure made her boss happy. But as a customer, the food could have been terrific and I still doubt I would ever go back.

But alas, the food was not terrific. Despite a menu with both a depth and breadth of menu items, particularly seafood, not a single dish was visually appealing nor did it excite the tastebuds.

For an appetizer, I noticed a house smoked salmon, wrapped in cucumber with a dill yogurt. Well, the smoked salmon was by far the best thing that approached our table last night but the presentation of the dish was so bad. There were gobs of this dill yougurt in the middle of the plate. It was like the chef skipped the presentation class at culinary school. Furthermore, the goo was distinctly terrible and did nothing to contrast the flavor of the delicate smoked salmon. The other apps brought to the table were equally disastarous. There was a beet salad that looked the chef was bleeding all over the plate as he prepared the dish. An innocuous ceasar salad was ordered by an unsophisticated dinner who seemed fairly underwhelmed by it.

My entree was one of these paint by numbers dishes that appear on menus so frequently. Take one protein (tuna), add a vegetable that sounds exotic but really isn't (chantrelle mushrooms) add a starch (soba noodles) then add an overly creative sauce that makes no sense whatsoever (wasabi beurre blanc). I can kind of see how in the hands of a Scott Boswell (a chef with a flair for Asian flavors) this might have worked. But again, the presentation of the dish was so bad and the disparate ingredients never came together the way they would have for a chef with considerable skill.

My brother ordered this snapper with a fried rice and some type of vera cruz sauce. He picked at his but I could tell he didn't like it. He offered me a bite and while I didn't get enough of a taste that I could tell you exaclty what was wrong with it, my taste buds were on red alert for a culinary holocaust.

My parents despised both their dishes. My Dad had tiliapia (at a $28 price point. Jesus!!!!). His fish was somewhat lukewarm when brought to the table and there was some type of mango salsa that featured way too much cilantro. This was probably the simplest dish on the menu and it demonstrated the chef's inability to deftly compose a simple accoutrement to a more than acceptable piece of fish.

My Mom had some type of salmon dish that was like mine way too busy and way too visually unappealing.

We ended the meal with a Ware's 1980 which if things don't work out with JAG, I might start dating. And a vanilla bean cheesecake that was actually pretty decent.

It's amazing because the high end restaurants in NOLA are all so good. Even when things maybe aren't great, they are still pretty f-ing good. Generally, we are talking a matters of degree and personal preference when we assess the restaurants we are lucky to dine at on a frequent basis. Last night, in Bucks County, PA, I encounter a truly wasted opportunity and again it made me appreciate New Orleans all the more.

[Isabella Maja]

Well said, Bam. I've encountered the same sort of scenario in various cities around the country. It makes you wonder. On the other hand, it's one reason people love to come to New Orleans & why we don't want to leave.

It also reminds me of the attitude of, "It's good enough, eat it." that is found elsewhere. NO Thanks!

Of course, lest this be misunderstood, I've had great meals elsewhere, but on a whole & consistent basis - here in New Orleans the passion for food & dining is evident. Maybe we do take it to an extreme (not my thoughts, but I've heard others utter this in amazement) - if that is the case, let's carry on!

[paz5559]

If it's mediocrity you seek, no need to travel all the way to PA - BR cuisine is equally uninspired!

[Schuarta]

Bam, as I grew up in Bucks County (Andaluisa), spent much adult time there initially (Bensalem), and could return on occasion, please favor us (me) with the name and location of that establishment (to pass over).

[BTG]

If it's mediocrity you seek, no need to travel all the way to PA - BR cuisine is equally uninspired!

Come on, it ain't that bad. There are some quality restaurants in BR. It's not like it is some city in the boring midwest.

[LiveOak]

It never fails to amaze me how mediocre (and sometimes horrible) the food is in other places in the country. I mean, what don't they get? They may not have the same access to seafood that we do, but surely some of the technique could be copied. I was reminded how bad it could get on our recent trip to Gatlinburg. We ate out most nights, and the food was without exception bland and ordinary. My next trip will be different and we will cook.

[Gourmondo]

Early in my career, I spent a couple of years working various jobs all over the country. I learned very early on never to take NOLA cuisine for granted. Ever had to spend two months eating out in Fargo, ND? You'll throw yourself in the chipper for sure. Now you would expect limited dining in Fargo, but in some other, relatively affluent areas, like suburban Atlanta or Los Angeles, things weren't a whole lot better. My roommate from college is a judge in Boston and lives in a pretty nice area near Wellesley College. For a nice dinner with his wife, we went to a seafood place near there that was, well, laughable. There is plenty of money in Boston, but they don't seem to spend proportionally as much on food as we do. And just don't care about it. Food is a means to an end elsewhere; here it is the destination. While Davis on Tremé was speaking in the season finale about one particular food item, he may as well have been speaking of our love for food in general when he said, "A po-boy's not a sandwich! It's a way of life!".

p.s. - you probably should have dined defensively and gone for the Pa. scrapple and cheese steak. At least that's what the Dean would advise. Although I listened in last week and he was calling himself Emperor of the Universe or some such folly. Ernie K-Do was rolling in his grave I'm sure.

[sirvelvet]

You couldn't be more correct. It's difficult to find a restaurant here that is just plain bad (although it does happen), but we should be grateful that our restaurant situation is so rich in quality and diversity that we only have the details to nit pick. In other words, yet one more reason that New Orleans rocks!

[LiveOak]

You'll throw yourself in the chipper for sure.

Nice Coen Brothers reference.

[bam bam]

Bam, as I grew up in Bucks County (Andaluisa), spent much adult time there initially (Bensalem), and could return on occasion, please favor us (me) with the name and location of that establishment (to pass over).

The Inn at Upper Black Eddy. About 20 minutes north of new hope.