Post JAG Date At Dick and Jenny's

[bam bam]

When you get knocked off the horse get right back on. That's what my grandfather says. In that vein, I asked a comely young lass out to Dick and Jenny's last night.


Despite the cold and the fact that Dick and Jenny's is not usually open Mondays, the place was packed. Although, we were able to get a seat fairly quickly.

"I have never been here before", remarked the woman who I was hoping would make me forget JAG forever.

"I was here two weeks with JAG."

"Who?"

"My old girlfriend. I think I was falling madly in love with her and she dumped me on New Year's Eve. I deserved it though. I am totally not good enough for her. In fact, we were supposed to come here tonight," I remarked.

"Wait. You brought me to a restaurant on the same night you were supposed to go there with your ex-girlfriend???" She immediately flagged the waitress and ordered a huge glass of White Zinfandel. "Don't chinze me on the pour", she added.

"What would you like, Sir?" inquired the waitress twisting the knife in back. She could tell I was to be here with a sweet, beautiful girl. Not some demanding unncouth tramp.

"Gin".

"Would you like some tonic?"

"No. I'll water it down with my own tears."

As we perused the menu, I pointed out all the things JAG liked to order off the menu. My date settled on the seafood puttanesca. "Oh", I said, "JAG loved seafood and pasta dishes." I decided on the pork tenderloin. And I commented on how JAG and cooked one together one Sunday while watching football.

I mentioned to her how JAG and I used to share several courses. And then inquired if she wanted to split an app or two.

"No. I ate some pork grinds before you came and picked me up." To
that end, I ordered the portobello cheesecake. JAG's favorite.

"So, do you watch Lost?" She asked trying to change the subject.

"No. JAG and I basically cooked for each other, exercised and watched football."

"I don't like football."

"I don't care", I said as gulped down 1/4 glass of gin wondering if I had died and gone to hell.

I was rescued from the monotony of the banal small talk by my portobello mushroom cheesecake. I had a momentary flashback and envisioned JAG across the table grabbing her appetizer fork with one hand, her other hand in mine and her giving me her best smile, before digging. But then I was brought back to my own warped, empty existence. I ate some of the app, played a little bit more while I listened to her talk about her favorite West Bank nail salons.

Much to my dismay, the waitress avoided our table like the plague. I was hoping she would bring me some complentary rope to hang myself but to no avail. She did come by to take away the cheesecake.

"Was it ok?"

"Yeah, Yeah...It was good", I said. "I just don't have much of an appetite these days. You see back in May....." and then I told the waittress in painstaking detail about my whirlwind romance with JAG. "But I am
here tonight to forget about her." I announced as I held my date's hand.

"Oh yeah. It appears you have upgraded substantially. I'll be right back with your entrees and another napkin for your tears."

I had to listen to some discussion about her plan to enroll in dog grooming school. And immediately, my thoughts turned to JAG and her two dogs and how we used to bring our dogs to Colisseum Square Park. And it occurred to me that I might have a chance encounter with her there. I made immediate plans to get to the park by 6:00 am and stay all day until it was dark and cold and I knew there was no chance she would show up.

As I made these plans, I was surprised to look down and see my entrée.

"Oh", I said. She brought our food."

"Yeah it's been here for 15 minutes, you haven't even touched it."

"How's yours?" I asked.

"Good".

"Can I have a bite?"

"I don't share food." She looked put out upon.

"JAG shares food", I muttered under my breath.

I had a few bites of my pork loin, guzzled two more glasses of gin and asked for the check. It was really reasonable and I thought it was nice that they charged for a bottle of gin rather than by the glass. Since money means nothing to me anymore, I left an overly generous tip.

I took Tiffany back to her apartment. "Come in," she said. "You'll forget about this girl real quick."

My head is prety messed up and I thought better of it. But I figured some hot sex may be the way to go. As we entered her doorway, she kissed me intimately and I knew instantly I was not kissing JAG. I felt no arousal in my nether regions. I crawled into her bed as she undressd. I still couldn't feel any excitement.

"Look, it is not you," I said. "I am just not ready for this."

"Obviously," she said with a look of disdain for my flaccidity.

I left in shame. And made immediate plans to be at the park by 6:00 am.

Dick and Jenny's remains highly recommended for food, service and atmosphere. Not recommended as a place to get over JAG.e

[bigshot]

Bam if this is a true story don't do this to yourself. How many times have you heard the story about the girl and the St. Charles Streetcar? Some of them are like if you miss one another one will always come along. Good luck my friend. I am speaking from personal experience, and from thinking that just maybe you can do better.

[dragongrrl]

Dick and Jenny's announced several times on Facebook that they would be opening up on Mondays. Maybe that's why they were busy.

[bam bam]

Nothing like taking the Streetcar after you had been flying the Concord for six months.

[Turbodog]

Brilliant prose, Bam. I enjoyed it very much.

[#7 throw away to do list.]

what did you do to get dumped? did jag cheer when she heard limbaugh was in the hospital?

[bam bam]

JAG is a huge Rush fan as well. She may be more to the right than I am. <SIGH>

[Titchou]

then why do I like her better than you when I'm way to the left???? (in the 60's, I thought SDS a little on the conservative side....)

[#7 throw away to do list.]

JAG is a huge Rush fan as well. <SIGH>

so what happened? did you say john bonham was a better drummer than neil peart?.....out with it bam bam. dont hold out on us now.

[bigshot]

Nothing like taking the Streetcar after you had been flying the Concord for six months.

Bam..Let's not forget that the Concord crashed and burned and was quickly taken out of service!! The streetcar may not be a bad choice. Just thinking.